By: Parc Lane PR
Let us dive into a conversation so many of us tend to avoid—the challenging journey of grief. It is a path we are all destined to walk, yet we often shy away from discussing it openly, leaving us lost when faced with death. Perhaps – it is time for a shift, a more candid conversation about death’s certainty and grief’s intricate dance. Shall we begin? Death, impartial to age, gender, social status, race, or ethnicity, can unexpectedly intrude into our lives, leaving a whirlwind of emotions in its wake. What bewilders me is our ability to overlook the teachings of grief amidst life’s tumultuous curriculum.
Through my journey, similar to a masterclass on loss, I have uncovered profound truths. Healing emerges when the heart vocalizes its pain, emphasizing the need to shift from comprehending the loss to simply surviving it. Dwelling on “what-if” scenarios not only depletes our mental reserves but sets the stage for a gloomy downward spiral. The ultimate lesson lies in learning to carry grief, embracing a slow dance of living moment by moment, then day by day, until the heart graciously allows the gift of release. It is crucial for those close to the person who is grieving to understand that they cannot fix or sidestep grief. People must learn to push past the uncomfortable feelings of grief to provide space for healing. It is okay to say the loved one’s name; not saying it makes the grieving feel more alone. Death does not stop the longing, the love, or the desire to talk about them. It is in gentleness, kindness, and the willingness to listen that true comfort lies.
My journey through grief began with the heart-breaking loss of my dearest friend at the tender age of eleven, setting the stage for a series of heart-wrenching farewells throughout my life. Death is not a stranger to me but an uninvited guest. In the aftermath of my three-year-old daughter’s passing, the weight of grief threatened to consume our entire family. Confronting such profound sorrow taught me that each a person’s journey is uniquely their own. No two grieving processes are identical, just as the individuals who carry them are diverse.
During the initial stages of grief, it felt suffocating. I had to remind myself to breathe, all the while silently praying to die myself. As I navigated through the valley of the shadow of death, my daughter’s passing felt like my own. For weeks, I lay in bed, knowing I could not carry this level of pain. As the light of God’s love began to pierce through the darkness, I knew I had to make a choice to live. Choosing to heal became a deliberate choice – a commitment to grieving forward and accepting that the journey with my daughter ended, but I was still here. My perspective shifted; choosing life became a profound tribute to my daughter’s legacy. Understanding that she would not want me to dwell in desolation propelled me forward. Choosing to live became a tribute to her memory, a testament that grief need not be a constant companion.
Grieving forward demands an effort to release the grip of sorrow, acknowledging that letting go doesn’t mean forgetting. Guilt and fear can hinder healing, but time, prayers, support, and therapy play vital roles. Letting go of anger towards God was essential for my healing to begin. I can testify to the transformative power of faith. God, in His infinite grace, became my healer, delicately placing my broken pieces back together as I laid them before Him. I learned God has the power to mend hearts, rekindle joy, and revive hope. Embracing the memory of a cherished child with a smile is not just conceivable but is now my reality. The path to healing is not linear, and scars may linger, but living a purposeful life is possible through the restoring power of God.
In grief’s intricate dance, let God’s love guide you through the dark. Embrace support, be kind to yourself, and see healing as a continuous journey. Life after grief is possible—embrace love, rediscover your strength, and dare to dream again.
In June 2024, the eagerly anticipated book, “How My Faith Brought Me Through,” by Dr. Nicole Estelle Roman, will be available for purchase. Keep a lookout for this powerful narrative on healing and faith.
Published By: Aize Perez
